City to City Blog

4 Wrong Answers to the Question “Why Me?”

06 Aug 2012 by Tim Keller

This article first appeared in edited form on CNN and is printed below in its entirety.

When I was diagnosed with cancer, the question "Why me?" was a natural one. Later, when I survived but others with the same kind of cancer died, I also had to ask, "Why me?"

Suffering and death seem random, senseless. The recent Aurora shootings—in which some people were spared and others lost—is the latest, vivid example of this, but there are plenty of others every day: from casualties in the Syria uprising to victims of accidents on American roads. Tsunamis, tornadoes, household accidents—the list is long. As a minister, I’ve spent countless hours with suffering people crying: “Why did God let this happen?” In general I hear four answers to this question—but each is wrong, or at least inadequate.

The first answer is, "This makes no sense—I guess this proves there is no God." But the problem of senseless suffering does not go away if you abandon belief in God. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., in his Letter from Birmingham Jail, said that if there was no higher divine Law, there would be no way to tell if any particular human law was unjust or not. If there is no God, then why have a sense of outrage and horror when suffering and tragedy occur? The strong eat the weak—that’s life—so why not? When Friedrich Nietzsche heard that a natural disaster had destroyed Java in 1883, he wrote a friend: “Two hundred thousand wiped out at a stroke—how magnificent!” Nietzsche was relentless in his logic. Because if there is no God, all value judgments are arbitrary. All definitions of justice are just the results of your culture or temperament. As different as they were in other ways, King and Nietzsche agreed on this point. If there is no God or higher divine Law, then violence is perfectly natural. So abandoning belief in God doesn’t help with the problem of suffering at all, and as we will see, it removes many resources for facing it.

The second answer is, “If there is a God, senseless suffering proves that God is not completely in control of everything. He couldn’t stop this.”  As many thinkers have pointed out—both devout believers as well as atheists—such a being, whatever it is, doesn’t really fit our definition of God. And this leaves you with the same problems mentioned above. If you don’t believe in a God powerful enough to create and sustain the whole world, then the world came about through natural forces, and that means, again, that violence is natural. Or if you think that God is an impersonal life force and this whole material world is just an illusion, again you remove any reason to be outraged at evil and suffering or to resist it.

The third answer to seemingly sudden, random death is, "God saves some people and lets others die because he favors and rewards good people." But the Bible forcefully rejects the idea that people who suffer more are worse people than those who are spared suffering. This was the self-righteous premise of Job’s friends in that great Old Testament book. They sat around Job, who was experiencing one sorrow in life after another, and said, "the reason this is happening to you and not us is because we are living right and you are not." At the end of the book, God expresses his fury at Job’s "miserable comforters." The world is too fallen and deeply broken to issue in neat patterns of good people having good lives and bad people having bad lives.

The fourth answer is, "God knows what he’s doing, so be quiet and trust him." This is partly right, but inadequate. It is inadequate because it is cold and because the Bible gives us more with which to face the terrors of life.

God did not create a world with death and evil in it. It is the result of humankind turning away from him. We were put into this world to live wholly for him, and when instead we began to live for ourselves everything in our created reality began to fall apart—physically, socially, and spiritually. Everything became subject to decay. But God did not abandon us. Of all the world's major religions, only Christianity teaches that God came to earth (in Jesus Christ) and became subject to suffering and death himself—dying on the Cross to take the punishment our sins deserved—so that some day he can return to earth to end all suffering without ending us.

Do you see what this means? Yes, we don’t know the reason God allows evil and suffering to continue, or why it is so random, but now at least we know what the reason isn’t—what it can’t be. It can’t be that he doesn’t love us! It can’t be that he doesn’t care. He is so committed to our ultimate happiness that he was willing to plunge into the greatest depths of suffering himself.

He understands us, he’s been there, and he assures us that he has a plan to eventually to wipe away every tear, to make "everything sad come untrue," as J.R.R. Tolkien put it at the end of his Christian allegory The Lord of the Rings.

Someone might say, "But that’s only half an answer to the question 'Why?'" Yes, but it is the half that we need.

If God actually explained all the reasons why he allows things to happen as they do, it would be too much for our finite brains. Think of small children and their relationship to their parents. Three-year-olds can’t understand most of what their parents allow and disallow for them. But though they aren’t capable of comprehending their parents’ reasons, they are capable of knowing their parents’ love, and therefore capable of trusting them and living securely. That is what they really need. Now the difference between God and human beings would be infinitely greater than the difference between a thirty-year-old parent and a three-year-old child. So we should not expect to be able to grasp all God’s purposes, but through the Cross and gospel of Jesus Christ, we can know his love. And that is what we need most.

In Ann Voskamp’s book One Thousand Gifts, she shares her journey to understand the senseless death of her sister, crushed by a truck at the age of two. In the end, she concludes that the primary issue is whether we trust God’s character. Is he really loving? Is he really just? Her conclusion:

"[God] gave us Jesus... If God didn’t withhold from us His very own Son, will God withhold anything we need? If trust must be earned, hasn’t God unequivocally earned our trust with the bark on the raw wounds, the thorns pressed into the brow, your name on the cracked lips? How will he not also graciously give us all things He deems best and right? He’s already given the incomprehensible.”

Comments
25 Aug 2012

by Tim Keller

Hi Rachel - I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through and I'm grateful that anything I wrote can be of any help at all to you in these circumstances. You ask- 'why evil in the first place?' and that's pretty close to being an unanswerable question. In fact, that's a big part of the 'half of the answer' that I said we don't have and don't need as much as the half we have--about God's love for us, for Kevin, and for you. To me the biggest question mark is--having dealt with evil on the cross (so he can now end evil without ending us) why does God allow history go on filled with its misery? But it is very possible to come through suffering by looking hard--very hard--at what we do know, not what we don't. Besides God's suffering and love on the cross there's also his promise of the future. I know that right now you feel you are surrounded by an ocean of darkness and you are scrambling to discover little chinks of light and comfort to keep you going. The reality is (according to the Bible) that we are surrounded by a whole universe of light and infinite joy, and we are only stuck temporarily in a little drop of darkness. And no matter what happens here and now, believers will soon be all together with Him in that brilliant reality, which will be a joy so infinitely powerful that it will make up (the first 5 seconds we experience it!) for all the griefs and losses we ever had. Yes, there are things written speculating why God may have allowed evil and suffering, but they can't practically help us like these truths can. Not by a long shot. God bless you and your family, Rachel.

30 Aug 2012

by Delphine Ngah

I am encouraged this morning to hear that , no matter what circumtances I'am going through, God cares, I just need to trust him. thanks Della

11 Oct 2012

by Erika Drewes

Three years ago my little girl was born. Two weeks after the birth we had the bad news that she had abnormalities on her brain ultrasound. Then came months of agonizing waiting to see how bad its going to be. She started various therapies since she came home only 5 weeks old. None of this has been able to stop the inevitable diagnosis of cerebral palsy when she was 7 months old. She is beautiful, she is clever and I have always believed that we can fight to overcome this. I have listened to your sermons of suffering and praying fears and tears so often. They always encourage me. You have no idea how much. Thanks so much. My problem is that when she was one year old a person at church who I did not know at the time approached me out of the blue and told me that she had had a dream from God that my daughter would be completely healed. She saw my daughter walking to school in the dream. I tried to be skeptical and rational, but the truth is I lapped it up. I tried testing it. I fasted and prayed over it. In the week that I prayed and fasted I received a reference for a new therapy for CP and I felt a strong sense of hope. I took this as God's answer. An answer that pointed me to what I must do (the new therapy) and that this person at church could be believed. I have been "following the thread", I have been faithfully doing the new therapy two hours a day and other therapies. She has improved, but it feels way way way too slow for someone who is supposed to be walking in four years. There was a time that I thought God was going to help us and in so doing really glorify his greatness. Instead now I feel isolated and so disappointed. It looks like I believed some crazy person who felt sorry for us. Our unbelieving family and friends are probably laughing at my naiveté. I needed to talk to someone but I realize writing to you on this blog is impractical. So I will end with a question. How can I tell if this person spoke the truth? Is there any literature that I can read on healing? What is your sober take on healing and faith. If my daughter doesn't get better is it really due to my lack of faith? I pray every day that God heals her. I stand over her crib and pray the words that Jesus used on Jairus' daughter. I have faith that he can heal her today in a flash. But she is not doing well. So now I ask that God helps me to accept this life of misery, but I am struggling to give up on someone I love more than life itself. God bless and keep up the good work Erika erikadrewes@gmail.com

08 Aug 2012

by rbebee

Excellent. Please format this like other articles under resources (pdf) for distribution! Thank you for your ministry. Ross, Frisco, TX

09 Aug 2012

by Sojourneer

We know more than this. We are in a love story, where the hero is looking for the woman will love him for who He is, not for what He has. The temptation of Eve, and the Satan's accusation of Job, show what God is up against. God must hide himself to gain our genuine love. And then, He will marry us and wipe away the tears of those days of testing. It's funny how much wisdom we have about relationship that we don't apply to our theology.

20 Aug 2012

by arevans74

Excellent article - though I think Tolkein would be spinning in his grave at the thought of "The Lord of the Rings" being called an allegory! Especially since he wrote, in the introduction to that great work, "As for any inner meaning or 'message', it has in the intention of the author none. It is neither allegorical nor topical."

25 Aug 2012

by rachelsue20

Thank you so much for sharing this today. I needed to read it. My husband has been fighting cancer for going on a year now, and we just got the bad news on Wednesday that the last treatment we tried didn't work. We will be investigating plans c, d, and e on Monday. Up until this point, I have not struggled so much with the question, why us, or why me? But this past week, a bigger question has plagued me, one that I have been arguing with God over. I want to know, God, "Why, if you could create things any way you wanted to, would you even created a world with evil in it to begin with?" Why is there even the possibility of sin and evil? I see here that you say that God did not create a world with death and evil in it. How is that so? If God created everything, how did death and evil come to be in the first place? That is the part that I just don't understand. And yes, the second half of your article was absolutely still the most encouraging. The fact that God is good AND he loves us is absolutely the answer to only half of the question, and it is really the only half we need. I am trying to settle my heart and let go of needing to figure out this mystery. Heck, figuring it out will not really change anything anyway, so there's not really a ton of value in it, I suppose. But still, the question dogs me. My husband is a big fan of your writings. If you have any books or know of any other resources that can help us continue to pray through and process this issue of why evil exists in the first place, I would love any recommendations or thoughts. Rachel Hill www.micah77.org rachel@micah77.org